CHOOSE TO BE HAPPY TODAY !!!

Repost of a blog from last year-October 2009---Update: It is a year later and Laney has just entered 5th grade and doing very well. I, again, have the honor of being her night nurse every tues.nite.
Let me tell you a story about my Laney Bug: It was the year 2000, the millennium. While many of us breathed a relief that the digital world had not collapsed and we could put away our stored canned goods and extra bottles of water for another time, a young couple were told that their second child , who was due to be born that summer, would indeed be born with some type of disability. Tests were unable to determine exactly what that would be, but Amy and Jason Swartz, much to their credit, chose to continue the pregnancy anyhow.

Laney was born July 22, 2000 in Little Rock, AR. and immediately a tracheotomy was performed and Laney was put on a Ventilator to breath. After several months, she was stable enough to come home but with enough machinery to fill a garage and round the clock nursing care to assist this young couple in her care.

It was around November of that year when thru a Nursing Agency for which I worked I heard about Laney and within days I became her regular "Night Nurse". She was about 4 mo. old and taking care of Laney was my primary nursing position from that time until I went to California for mission training in August of 2006.

I don't have any photo's of those first years with me, but they were filled with trips to Little Rock Children's hospital (often in a snow or ice storm) for respiratory emergencies, as well as all the medical challenges involved with a baby on a ventilator, being fed thru a gastrostomy tube.

Unfortunately the marriage did not survive the strains of those difficult times but Laney did survive and did she ever! Somehow, thru the grace of God and parents who always put her first, she has not only survived but turned into a delightful, loving and very smart young lady. She attends regular school in her home town, with only extra assistence medically and with Sign Language.

Laney's condition never really had a definite diagnosis but she was born with a small chin, none of the apparatus necessary to swollow or eat regular food and only the ability to make sounds but not speak words. But none of that has stopped Laney from being an exceptional human being. She is an inspiration and a joy to be with. I count my years as her primary night nurse an honor and true blessing in my life.

I have a million Laney (Laney- bug obviously a nickname from Lady Bug-smile) stories but let me tell you one that changed my life and hopefully, Laney's as well: She was about 4 years old and attending nursery school in Clinton, AR . A boy pulled Laney's trach out and though she is not completely trach dependent and it was immediately reinserted by her nurse, the incident, understandably, frightened her and she didn't want to go to school after that episode. Each day became more difficult to get her out of bed and dressed for the day.

Finally I asked her why she was so unhappy and scared to go to school and she told me the story, which I already knew, but allowed her to tell me in her own way. Thru her signing and tears I told her how very sorry I was that such a thing had happened and then went on to tell her that her life would always hold some challenges because she was different from the other children, but she would need to educate them---teach them how she breathed and ate and talked. But, mostly I taught her that being happy was not something that just happened but, rather, something she had to choose every day. ==HAPPINESS IS NOT A RESULT BUT, RATHER A CHOICE

My friends have often teased me about the way I speak to children, even babies, as if they could understand such "adult" concepts but my experience has been that indeed they do "understand" these concepts and re-teach them to me back again thru their lifetime.
I told her that evey morning when she awoke and said her prayers, thanking God for a good nights sleep, she needed to make this "choice" to be happy and share it with everyone she met that day.

Several days later, it was noticed that she woke easily, dressed for school, ready to greet the day. I asked her what had happened that she was in such a good mood. When she signed to me "I choose to be happy today" , I started to cry. Here was this precious soul re-teaching me a lesson I need to be reminded of on a regular basis, that happiness is, indeed a choice, not a result.

I felt that day that I could die happily, even if I never did another thing in my life. Of course, I am glad that wasn't the case, or I never would have had the opportunity to come to Uganda, be a missionary, meet and be a part of Michael's journey (and Baby Brenda, Patrick, Patience, Daniel ect) but I will never forget that reminder, that lesson, that magical moment when God's grace ran thru me to Laney and thru Laney back to me. It was one of the great gifts of my life.

Laney was sad that I was leaving but I spent almost a year preparing her for that day. When asked she will tell you that I have come to Africa to help the children. I pray I have not disappointed her.

Now she no longer needs the Ventilator to breathe but she is on it a couple of nights a week to encourage deep breaths and keep her O2 level where it needs to be. She can now feed herself thru her G-tube, give her own respiratory treatments and bathe herself, including washing her own hair.
They have already performed two sugeries to extend her chin cosmetically, though they will never be able to surgically correct what is not there-- Nor will she be able to speak, but with modern technology, computers and Sign language , my Laney Bug does quite well. But ,whatever you do, don't feel sorry for Laney, as that is the last thing she wants, afterall ---she is a magical, mystical little girl who only wants the freedom to "Choose to be Happy Today"
----------Bonnie, Marie (ReRe) and Laney --OCT 2009